I have alot of guy friends. I play trumpet and very few women do this. When I go to some jam sessions I am often either the only woman instrumentalist or only black woman. So having alot of male collegues is just par for the course.
Some folks have a problem with understanding that being a professional musician for most people is just like any other corporate job, even though we work in a social environment. So when folks see me out with a male musician or several, for me he/they are merely collegues. The foundation of our relationship is about supporting each others professional goals.
But some people have a hard time accepting the concept that men and women can have a strictly professional relationship that is highly friendly. They tend to be disconnected from the possibility that some people have a high level of self control, which brings me to the title of this blog.
Can a man be in the room with a naked woman and it not be sexual ? YES.
There are thousands of male doctors and nurses who routinely look at naked women and it is purely professional. It would be interesting to know the ratio of how often this happens to men actually having sex.
But the point is if someone wants to behave in a certain way bad enough they will find away. It comes down to motivation. In our commercialized society, our impulse control is constantly under attack so that we ignore reason and buy crap we don’t need. Sex sells. So companies study ways to increase your desire for sex so that you also buy more crap. Seriously what do you think marketing degrees and pyschology degrees are for ?
The wise person however who has a deep sense of purpose, just finds risking their purpose for the opposite sex is just dumb. Most doctors wouldnt risk their medical license and wealth while throwing away years of hard work over for a tryst. After awhile serious musicians realize distractions just undermind growth and can ruin your career.
And so it is with me. I worked too hard to heal myself and build a new life to have it uprooted by a superficial romantic relationship. 9 times out of 10 the only thing male and female musiciams have in common is music and it takes more than a love for sound to build a lasting relationship.