Having another moment when I feel like I am in a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I would like the monster to go away. But they remain. Not sure what the lesson is in this.
Is it so disappointing that the magic I thought existed, doesnt work for me. The magic of family actually seems to only work for my children. They have no idea what it is like to be unloved or unprotected. As long as I live they will never breath air into their lungs without knowing that someone would move heaven and earth, if anyone would harm them.
One of my favorite scriptures in the whole Bible is “No greater love than this, than to lay down your life for a friend.”
For me there is no deep love without a willingness to sacrifice your body for someone. But I have been around parents who wont sacrifice money to get their children proper therapy or a lawyer. Or what about a Pastor who wont sacrifice his friendship, to protect the name of Christ and the women in his congregation?
I dont understand that kind of behavior and I never want to.