The cost of peace and growth has always been pain. We come in this world through a painful process.
In a year I have made some MAJOR transitions.
I went from a full time jazz student to a game/web developer of a major coporation that also manages 800 websites. My personal company also grew from 0 clients to 8 clients. Not to mention I am gigging or in the studio at least once a month.
While the financial growth has been great alot of my relationships blew up in my face. I just didnt have the same level of patience and compassion I once had. The relationshipa began to take more from me that what they were giving back. They hadnt changed at all, I did.
I wish I could on some level just be the chill fun chick all the time, but the growth and demands of my career and business only leave me with enough nuturing for myself and kids. I no longer have the energy to nurture and support my friends like I used to namely my guy friends.
Men need nuturing and patience and I understand that, but if they arent nuturing and giving to me its just a draining relationship. And they arent bad guys in the least. They deserve the best, but that best should come from a wife not just a female friend.
That was my lesson over the past few months. I thought the physical was the only boundary I needed to take with my guy friends. Really the emotional is an important one too. Because the demands someone makes on your time and emotions should be proportionate to the level of commitment.
Alot pastors say that everyone is a minister. But this doesnt mean that we all walk in the officer of a minister which has access to infrastructure, proceduaral policies and a support system. The lifestyle of a minister is very different than a lay person. Yes we are all called to be Christ like and love but God never required co-dependent relationships and to cause us mental distress where our main calling is effected.