In the past week I have been struggling with the issue of patience. Maybe because I feel the pressure to make an important decision and not hurt anyones feelings.
At the same time I am wondering if its simply that I am not getting legitimate needs met.
And I think that is the forever tension in every relationship.
What is a legitimate need or feeling ?
When is too little too little, when is too much too much ?
That was a central issue in my marriage. I mean I was willing to sacrifice time away from the family and my career to support a medical career. I felt I was a very attentive wife. But no one gets married to have a roommate.
It was getting to the point where I was the only one putting any effort in creating a home. Every problem that arose I tried to solve.
I dont think that is how a Godly home should operate.
I put alot of energy into my kids, nuturing my ex husband’s discouragement and managing the home, I needed someone to put some energy into nuturing me.
Every relationship needs those non-negotiable times to check in and make sure things are cool. It has to be intentional because rarely do husbands and wives have the same career. If you don’t make intentional effort to nuture your spouse physically or emotionally the relationship is bound to fail. Why?
Because love is a fruit that needs to be tended and nurtured. This is why in 1 Corinthians 7:3 it says:
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
This is why I love the Bible, it creates order in the home and demands that balance is established between the marriage relationship & the outside world. When we step out of that divine order the home falls apart.
As much as people bash the Bible,long before the Women’s lib movemnt it commands the man to love & serve his wife as Christ loves the church.
Ephesians 5:25 NIV
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Thus according to the Bible, the wife is not to out serve her husband. In passionately pursuing Christ the husband creates the divine order that a society needs to bring about the fruit of the spirit. This is true Biblical manhood. A sense of duty & responsibility inside of a servant leader.